Skip to content

Julia Clement

Comedian, Playwright, Director, Producer

  • Home
  • Events
  • Venues
  • Links
  • Blogs
  • About
  • Privacy
  • Instagram
  • Twitter
  • Facebook
Julia Clement

Month: April 2025

Trickle Dow

Trickle Dow

I refuse to surrender my country to people who think climate change is fake and trickle down is real.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on April 30, 2025April 29, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags Coalition, Trickle Down

Woke

Woke

The opposite of “Woke” is “Sleeping”.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on April 29, 2025April 26, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, NZComedy, Slept, Woke

Zero trust

Zero trust

Why would I buy accounting software from someone who can’t even spell Zero?

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on April 28, 2025April 26, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags Accounting, AucklandComedy, Comedy, NZComedy

Winston Looseton

Winston Looseton

NZ politics is a case of Winston, Looseton.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on April 27, 2025April 29, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags Coalition, Comedy, NZComedy, Winston

Water Tax?

Water Tax?

Was the Labour/Green proposed tax on water aimed at homeopaths?

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on April 26, 2025April 22, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags Comedy, Homeopathy, NZComedy, Water

Sibling Rivalry

Sibling Rivalry

Sibling Rivalry: My Roomba just choked itself trying to eat the big vacuum cleaner’s power cord.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on April 25, 2025April 22, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags Comedy, Roomba

Rats

Rats

I’m unable to donate blood as when one of my medications is given in huge doses to pregnant rats it can cause birth defects.

Personally I’d rather my blood was given to humans, not rats.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on April 24, 2025April 22, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags Blood, Comedy, Medication, Rats

LSD’s discovery

LSD’s discovery

LSD’s original name was LSD-25.

Dr Albert Hofmann synthesized new forms until Number 25 when flying purple giraffes blocked the lab’s portcullis.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on April 23, 2025April 20, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags 25, Comedy, LSD, NZComedy, Science

Upselling Dot Coms

Upselling Dot Coms

When I registered juliaclement.com, Godaddy suggested I should also register juliakind(.)com and juliamild(.)com.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on April 22, 2025April 22, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags Comedy, DotCom, NZComedy, Website

First World Problems

First World Problems

When someone describes a first world problem, I like to reply “Dreadful, that’s like something out of Dickens” shake my head & walk off …

I would have made a great Disney villain.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on April 21, 2025April 20, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags Comedy, Dickens, FirstWorldProblems, NZComedy

Posts pagination

Page 1 Page 2 … Page 4 Next page

Events

<< Jul 2025 >>
MTWTFSS
30 1 2 3 4 5 6
7 8 9 10 11 12 13
14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27
28 29 30 31 1 2 3

Events

  • July 19, 2025
  • Jellicoe Park, Onehunga Winter 2025
    • July 19, 2025
    • Onehunga
  • July 26, 2025
  • Selwyn Domain, Mission Bay Winter Comedy 2025
    • July 26, 2025
    • Mission Bay
  • August 2, 2025
  • Free Comedy: Falls Park, Henderson.
    • August 2, 2025
    • Henderson
  • August 9, 2025
  • Free Comedy, Maungawhau (Mt Eden) Winter Series
    • August 9, 2025
    • Mount Eden
  • August 16, 2025
  • Free Comedy Auckland Domain Winter 2025
    • August 16, 2025
    • Parnell

One Liners

Tweets by JuliaClementNZ

Recent Posts

  • Lipstick
  • Reposession
  • Early Bird
  • You Do The Maths
  • Recycling

Recent Comments

  • James on You Do The Maths
  • safest_integer on You Do The Maths
  • tilde on Gum Crime
  • Humour Channel on Athletes
  • Sport Channel on Athletes

Archives

  • July 2025
  • June 2025
  • May 2025
  • April 2025
  • March 2025
  • February 2025
  • November 2024
  • October 2024
  • September 2024
  • November 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • September 2017

Categories

  • 10 Years a Comedian, 3 in a Skirt
  • 50 Years
  • Ancestors
  • Animal Names
  • Conspiracy Theories
  • DEATH
  • General Info
  • Gigs
  • Joke-a-day
  • Series
  • Super Files
  • Video Jokes
  • Website

Meta

  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.org
  • Home
  • Events
  • Venues
  • Links
  • Blogs
  • About
  • Privacy
  • Instagram
  • Twitter
  • Facebook
Julia Clement Privacy Policy Proudly powered by WordPress