NZComedy – Page 5 – Julia Clement

Security Guards

If Luxon does end homelessness, who’s going to guard the shop doorways in Queen Street overnight?

The homeless woman that normally begs outside the Newmarket burger bar wasn’t there today.

I hope she’s gone somewhere nice for her vacation.

Nobody needs to be unemployed in this country.

You can always get a job sitting outside Burger bars asking for spare change.

A typo prone friend asked if his jokes were any god so I printed them and put one on each of fourteen fresh graves.

No resurrections yet.

I’m writing a book about a science fantasy author who secretly writes romances.

It’s transgendre literature.

The set was ruined because the air guitar was out of tune & the air drummer’s tempo was worse.

My brother took ages to clear customs.

In retrospect it was probably a mistake to send him a txt asking if they’d found the drugs yet?

It’s dawned on me that solar power is the answer, but it won’t happen overnight.

At Auckland airport waiting for my brother.

Before I left home 1/2 hour ago flight was 13 min early now 17 late.

Did it stop while I drove?

With so many jokes on endoscopes relying on innuendo, I prefer to sit them out.