Joke-a-day – Julia Clement

Sunglasses

You can always spot Aucklanders …

Windscreen wipers on our sunglasses.

Political correctness has not gone mad, it’s just on antidepressants.

English measles: “I have measles.”

German measles: ,,Ich habe Masern.”

The ultimate in fast food, the Heisenburger.

You can either know where it is or how fast you’re eating it.

What’s the best thing about pulled pork?

You know the pig died happy.

Jokes are like babies.

Everyone loves them but nobody wants to see them get made.

Ted talks: Mansplaining on steroids.

Pontius Pilot was a comedian.

The Bible says he nailed it.

Safety First: Always web surf between the flags.

I’m writing some new gags on centipedes.

I’m sure this idea’s got legs.