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Julia Clement

Comedian, Playwright, Director, Producer

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Julia Clement

Tag: AucklandComedy

Can’t Stop

Can’t Stop

Make America great again.

Make cheese grate again.

Make Kool-Aid grape again.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on May 19, 2026May 18, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, NZComedyLeave a comment on Can’t Stop

Insomnia

Insomnia

It’s better to have dreamed and wakened than to suffer incurable insomnia.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on May 18, 2026May 15, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Insomnia, NZComedy, Slept, WokeLeave a comment on Insomnia

It’s a fake

It’s a fake

Winter’s not real.

It’s just a plot by Big Puffer Jacket!

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on May 17, 2026May 15, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, ConspiracyTheorists, NZComedy, Puffer Jacket, WinterLeave a comment on It’s a fake

Gone, but not forgotten.

Gone, but not forgotten.

It was over 100 years ago.

One way or another Schrödinger’s cat is dead.

(In reality it was in November 1935 that Schrödinger published, so this posting has obviously come through a wormhole from 9 or more years in the future. Quantum!)

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on May 16, 2026May 14, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Cats, Comedy, NZComedy, Schrodinger, SchrödingerLeave a comment on Gone, but not forgotten.

Strong Passwords

Strong Passwords

I woke up today to find an email from Wikipedia.

Someone had tried to break into my account.

Luckily my password is a very strong one: VeryStrongOne123!

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on May 15, 2026May 14, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, NZComedy, Password, WikipediaLeave a comment on Strong Passwords

Placebos

Placebos

My hypochondria’s so bad my doctor prescribes me broad spectrum placebos.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on May 14, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Hypochondria, NZComedy, PlacebosLeave a comment on Placebos

Light Bulbs

Light Bulbs

It’s getting dark outside.

I think I’ll go and panic buy light bulbs.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on May 12, 2026May 8, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Lightbulbs, NZComedy, PanicBuyingLeave a comment on Light Bulbs

Toad Redux

Toad Redux

Q: Why did the chicken cross the toad?

A: Autocorrect!

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on May 11, 2026May 8, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Autocorrect, Comedy, CrossThetoad, NZComedyLeave a comment on Toad Redux

Fashion Disaster

Fashion Disaster

I look pretty hot in everything except maxi-dresses.

Nobody looks good in a maxi-dress.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on May 10, 2026May 8, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Maxi-dress, NZComedyLeave a comment on Fashion Disaster

Time and Tide

Time and Tide

Time and peristalsis wait for no-one.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on May 9, 2026May 8, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, NZComedy, Peristalsis, TimeLeave a comment on Time and Tide

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Recent Posts

  • Can’t Stop
  • Insomnia
  • It’s a fake
  • Gone, but not forgotten.
  • Strong Passwords

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  • Pascal Drabik on Gone, but not forgotten.
  • Andrew "Ace" Arsenault on Gone, but not forgotten.
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