DEATH – Julia Clement

Open Mic

Julia says “At an open mic, some comedians will kill and others will die.”

DEATH replies “All good. Either way suits me.”

Does the bar serve diet blood or just that crappy blood zero?

Asking for a friend.

Et in Arcadia Ego.

(“Even in Arcadia, there am I”, Mission Bay not Arcadia, but who’s counting?)

Add extra colour to your salads with these pretty red mushrooms.

Stop sending me virgins …

Do I look like a chaperone?

Chocolate is highly toxic to rabbits.

This makes me wonder if the Easter Bunny gives humans chocolate in a lagamorphic attempt to wipe humanity out?

Julia says “One day the stars will align.”

DEATH replies “Yes! On 6 May 2492. It’s the 1,000th anniversary of Columbus’ first trip.”

Julia says “I think I am dying.”

DEATH replies “I’m awfully busy, wait your turn Julia.”

Don’t worry about being alive.

I know it’s just a phase you’re going through, you’ll grow out of it.

Some comedians will kill.

Others will die.

Either way I’m happy.