London to Sofia 2,013 km; Auckland to Sydney 2,223 km.
England is closer to Bulgaria than NZ to Australia yet we don’t confuse them.
Tag: NZComedy
Accessible
Have you ever noticed that they have Mobility Parking yet Accessible Toilets?
Is this a subtle hint to men not to move too much in the toilet?
Crime
Gum crime is out of control!
Yesterday there was a large chunk stuck to my shoe.
K-PG
They renamed the K-T boundary to the K-Pg boundary because the thought of asteroids wiping out the dinosaurs was too much for young children.
Hedgehog
Hedgehogs may look cuddly but they are selfish pricks.
Time and …
Time and peristalsis wait for no-one.
Apollo
Rocket fuel is so toxic that 55 years later nothing grows at the Apollo 11 landing site!
Subtext
Super Villain File
Name: Subtext
Origin: The same alien beam missed its mark and hit Olivia’s bitter rival, Helen Hint. Now possessing the ability to speak only in riddles and hidden meanings, she became Subtext, a villain dedicated to spreading confusion!
Aims: Dedicated to spreading confusion!
Foes: Captain Obvious
Captain Obvious
Super Hero File
Name: Captain Obvious
Origin: Mild-mannered librarian Olivia Point was struck by a mysterious beam from an alien spacecraft, granting her the power to state the obvious so emphatically that it leaves her enemies dumbfounded! She took on the name Captain Obvious, battling crime with truth and simplicity.
Powers: States the obvious to confuse enemies.
Weaknesses: Is completely oblivious to sarcasm.
Foes: Subtext
Plasticor
Super Villain File
Name: Plasticor
Origin: Formerly a brilliant but unscrupulous scientist, Dr. Paul Tridax lost his hand in a freak accident involving synthetic polymers.
Replacing it with a plastic appendage, he found he could control all plastics and vowed to rid the world of metal, becoming the sinister Plasticor!
Powers: Controls all plastic materials.
Aims: Vowed to rid the world of metal
Foes: Magneta