A Joke A Day – Page 11 – Julia Clement

Socks

I buy my socks in pairs, I wear my socks in pairs, I put my socks in the laundry together and I still get odd socks.

I sort of understand this, but how the hell does it happen to my pantihose?

David Seymour: Too many children are spreading Covid at school.

DEATH: Not wanting to endorse breathing, but can’t you limit it to their breaks?

Was a viking’s wife a viqueen?

All berries are edible.

Some only once.

My friend lost a lot of weight off her belly because of surgery that went wrong.

She was gutted.

They said that comedian died … how stupid do they think I am?

I can see they’re still walking and they don’t look like a zombie to me … I hate zombies.” [followed by 2 minute rant about zombies]

Syria only has 233 hectares (575 acres) of forest.

Why then do Syrian Generals go on TV in Jungle camouflage?

DEATH: Here I am, laughing in the face of life.

(The mythological character formerly known as DEATH)

Ironic that the “killer app” to get us all live-streaming our creative endeavours was Covid-19.

Julia: I have a bad cold.

DEATH: That’s funny, I have a bad Julia.

(The mythological character formerly known as DEATH.)