Joke-a-day – Page 27 – Julia Clement

Heisenburger

The ultimate in fast food, the Heisenburger.

You can either know where it is or how fast you’re eating it.

Don’t say “Homeopathic”, call it what it is “Homeopathetic.”

What’s the best thing about pulled pork?

You know the pig died happy.

Jokes are like babies.

Everyone loves them but nobody wants to see them get made.

Ted talks: Mansplaining on steroids.

Pontius Pilot was a comedian.

The Bible says he nailed it.

Safety First: Always web surf between the flags.

I’m writing some new gags on centipedes.

I’m sure this idea’s got legs.

The Earth may not be flat but my bike’s rear tyre is.

I once lived in an apartment with a Smeg washing machine.

It worked well but to wash my underwear I needed to carefully clean the bowl first.