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Julia Clement

Comedian, Playwright, Director, Producer

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Julia Clement

Tag: Comedian

Dying on Stage?

Dying on Stage?

DEATH “They said that comedian died … how stupid do they think I am?

I can see they’re still walking and they don’t look like a zombie to me … I hate zombies.”

[followed by 2 minute rant about zombies]

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on August 7, 2026August 6, 2026Categories DEATH, Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedian, Comedy, DEATH, NZComedy, ZombiesLeave a comment on Dying on Stage?

Supposed to be a comedian

Supposed to be a comedian

OK Julia, you’re supposed to be a comedian.

Think of something funny to say.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on July 3, 2026June 30, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedian, Comedy, Joke, NZComedy

Break a Leg

Break a Leg

I’m a comedian not an actor.

Stop telling me to “Break a leg!”

When my wife was a custom baker, I used to tell her to “Crack an egg.”

Why not tell me to “Crack a joke” instead?

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on April 30, 2026April 29, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags Actor, AucklandComedy, Comedian, Comedy, CustomBaker, NZComedy

Comedian Died (Repost)

DEATH says “They said that comedian died … how stupid do they think I am?

“I can see they’re still walking and they don’t look like a zombie to me …

“I hate zombies.”

[followed by 2 minute rant about zombies]

(Reposted to match theme of last two days)

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on April 27, 2026April 25, 2026Categories DEATH, Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedian, Comedy, DEATH, NZComedy, Zombies

Taken Seriously?

Taken Seriously?

Being taken seriously as a comedian only sounds like an oxymoron.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on March 25, 2026March 23, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedian, Comedy, NZComedy

Clowning Around?

Clowning Around?

Coulrophobia: Fear of clowns, but no word for fear of comedians?

AREN’T WE SCARY ENOUGH FOR YOU?

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on March 18, 2026March 16, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Clowns, Comedian, Comedy, NZComedy

Job Search

Job Search

I applied for a job as a comedian but the recruiter just laughed at me.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on March 10, 2026March 6, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedian, Comedy, JobApplication, NZComedy, Recruiter

Open Mics

Open Mics

Julia: At an open mic, some comedians will kill and others will die.

DEATH: All good. Either way suits me.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on January 14, 2026January 13, 2026Categories DEATH, Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedian, Comedy, DEATH, NZComedy, Open Mics

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