NZComedy – Page 13 – Julia Clement

Crystals

A large number of experiments have shown crystals to be just as effective as homeopathy without running the risk of water borne diseases.

I just found out a Cockapoo is a type of dog.

That’s worse than taking the piss.

The metric system seems natural to us as we have 5 digits on each hand, 10 in total.

A few countries like 12, for exactly the same reason.

Because of the bad publicity, Covid-19 has gone into hiding & is now named Covert-19.

On the stage everything I said was true, but not everything was said.

Not that I was selective with the truth, I only had 20 minutes.

It’s better to inspire than to expire!

Safety Tip: Always bend your knees not your back when bashing your head against a brick wall.

Did my first serious bit of coding in 18 months yesterday & this morning this.

It’s an omen I tell you.

An omen!

I have diarrhoea & feel wobbly.

I told you my cooking at home wasn’t safe.

I applied for a job as a comedian but the recruiter just laughed at me.