If you want a picture of the future, imagine Mickey Mouse’s shoe stamping on a human face — forever.
(After George Orwell, 1984)
Tag: NZComedy
Say Something
OK Julia, you’re supposed to be a comedian. think of something funny to say.
Mnemonic
I wrote a letter today and used the word “Mnemonic” four times.
Every single time I spelled it wrong, so I wrote this little mnemonic to remember it “Many Nematodes Eat Mushy Organic Noodles In Cafes” which would be great if only I could remember how to spell nematoads.
Live Forever
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
(I can’t believe that’s original, but can’t remember hearing it)
Trolls
I don’t understand how Internet trolls function.
How do they get decent WIFI under the bridge?
Side Splitting
Comedy’s all fun and games until someone splits their sides.
Penis Jokes
I’d tell penis jokes, but there’s a shortage.
Guy Fawkes
If they ban fireworks at Guy Fawkes, how do we stop the papists blowing up parliament?
Blue Whales
Question on a quiz show:
The main food of Blue Whales is?
- Krill,
- Anchovies,
- Sardines?
Obviously Krill, how’s a whale going to open a can?
Too Close
Time to get tough on people who stand too close to themselves.