NZComedy – Page 14 – Julia Clement

Numbers

I’m a computer programmer so I deal in numbers.

Zero and one to be precise!

I’m staying home and eating my own cooking.

Hmmm.

Safer to dine out.

Homeopathic cure for drowning:

Start with water & dilute it with water until there is no water left.

Covid scare: I was eating out & couldn’t taste my food.

Then I remembered I was in McDs.

Phew!

Physarum polycephalum is a slime mold with 507 sexes.

Can you imagine what their version of Tindr must be like?

Schrödinger could never tell if his girlfriend was satisfied or not.

Q: How many homophobes does it take to change a tyre?

A: One, the others stay in the car so they don’t touch his bum.

A woman is a woman is a woman.

I was just late to the party, needing to find myself first.

I was on the hall table with the lost keys and the mail.

I’ve started a loyalty scheme for my fans …

Every 10th joke is free!

I had to come out of the closet.

It was full of dresses that no longer fitted