You can’t call a person truly alone who has social media and 5G coverage.
Blogs
Standing Too Close
Time to get tough on people who stand too close to themselves.
Cats
Are my wife’s pets my step cats or my cats-in-law?
Epilator
The epilator took 15 years to develop.
One to make it work & fourteen to make it hurt more.
Moon Landing
Cinematography in 1902 was nowhere near advanced enough to fake a moon landing so we have to accept Georges Méliès’ “Le voyage dans la lune” as a record of the first successful French moon shot.
It’s a shame that they lost their moon base to the NAZIs in 1940 & never got it back.
Winston
Winston’s the laxative of NZ politics.
If he’s the answer, you really can’t give a shit.
Sunglasses
You can always spot Aucklanders …
Windscreen wipers on our sunglasses.
Political Correctness
Political correctness has not gone mad, it’s just on antidepressants.
Measles
English measles: “I have measles”.
German measles: ,,Ich habe masern”.
Heisenburger
The ultimate in fast food, the Heisenburger.
You can either know where it is or how fast you’re eating it.