Vinyl?
Nah, I’m waiting for shellac 78s to come back.
Better still wax cylinders.
Blogs
Eternity
Let’s hope the demons in Hell can parallel process punishments or eternity will be a very long time and seem longer.
Idearrhea
Idearrhea: What happens when your head can’t contain all your thoughts
Earthquakes
Why are earthquakes centred 45 km underground?
Cowards!
Come up to the surface and fight fair you trembling tremors.
Very Good Friends
MCs introduce nearly all comedians as “My very good friend”
Now I’m streaming comedy, is it “My very good Facebook friend?”
Santa’s Favourite
Santa’s favourite oil — Jojojoba.
Bad Day
John suspected it was going to be a bad day when he saw his wife’s relationship status had changed to “Widowed”
Washing Machine
I hate washing machines.
They are always stealing my material
…
Especially socks.
Bifocals
There are none so blind as those who won’t wear bifocals.
Selfie
Waiting at the airport I just got asked by an old couple if I could take a selfie of them. Fail