Joke – Page 3 – Julia Clement

Courts

I like kangaroos … Their courts are so efficient.

Breaking News: I dropped a tray of crockery!

Q: How many homophobes does it take to change a tyre?

A: One, the others stay in the car so they don’t touch his bum.

Ever noticed how they like to invent new names for old things so they can claim they’re a new idea.

Take driverless cars, 40 years ago we just used to say “Forgot to put the handbrake on.”

A large number of experiments have shown crystals to be just as effective as homeopathy without running the risk of water borne diseases.

My dog growls when he dreams.

I think he’s been sleeping rough.

I hate the way autocorrect manages to choose the wrong word.

The price of intelligibility is consonant vigilante.

I’m a computer programmer so I deal in numbers.

Zero and one to be precise!

I had to come out of the closet.

It was full of dresses that no longer fitted

Being an uber geek I still sometimes wake up in the middle of the night wondering about major issues like “Do earthworms have parasites?”