I’ve come to the conclusion that conspiracy theorists bypass Occam’s razor in favour of Occam’s epilator!
Tag: Joke
Panic Buying
Panic buying toilet paper is a shitty thing to do.
Break a Leg?
I’m a comedian not an actor.
Stop telling me to “Break a leg!”
When my wife was a custom baker, I used to tell her to “Crack an egg.”
Why not tell me to “Crack a joke” instead?
Fruit Trees
We had fruit trees when I was a kid but I kept eating their children.
Sacred Covenant
Marriage is a sacred covenant between one couple and the registrar of births deaths and marriages!
We give them money and they give us a certificate
Monsters
Why do zombies eat brains?
Why do vampires avoid the sun?
Why do werewolves hump your leg?
1950s Social Media
Imagine 1950s social media.
Send a letter, wait 2 weeks for a reply, then suddenly we have airmail and the LOL comes back in under a week.
(This is last night's post a few hours late after a server outage)Marge
I bought a large tub of margarine to share with my neighbours … community spread.
Funny?
There’s nothing funny about being funny.
Duck It
I’ve finally convinced Autocorrect that I’m unlikely to say “I don’t give a water bird.”
Now for the rare occasion when I want to keep my duck.