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Julia Clement

Comedian, Playwright, Director, Producer

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Julia Clement

Month: March 2026

Polly Gone

Polly Gone

I’ve dropped all my jokes about polygons … too edgy.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on March 31, 2026March 30, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Maths, NZComedy, Polygons

Cannelloni

Cannelloni

I think my Google-foo is failing.

I typed in my symptoms & it said I have cannelloni.

Not even close, my pastaia swears I had fettuccine.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on March 30, 2026March 30, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Food, Google, NZComedy, Pasta

Hexadecaphobia

Hexadecaphobia

After decades of slaving in the data mines I’ve caught hexadecaphobia.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on March 30, 2026March 27, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, DataMines, Hexadecaphobia, Mines, NZComedy

No AI needed

No AI needed

All the bugs in programs I write are lovingly hand crafted.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on March 29, 2026March 27, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Bugs, Comedy, HandCrafted, NZComedy, Programs

New Diet

New Diet

My new diet is so strict I’m only allowed micronutrients.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on March 28, 2026March 27, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Diet, Diet Micronutrients Joke, Micronutrients, NZComedy

Vapers

Vapers

Are the people who vape vapers or vapists?

Either way don’t ever call them vapid!

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on March 27, 2026March 26, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, NZComedy, Vapers, Vapes, Vaping

Stormy Weather

Stormy Weather

Outdoor performing tip: When the thunder claps, take a bow.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on March 26, 2026March 26, 2026Categories DEATH, Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, DEATH, NZComedy, Raining1 Comment on Stormy Weather

Taken Seriously?

Taken Seriously?

Being taken seriously as a comedian only sounds like an oxymoron.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on March 25, 2026March 23, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedian, Comedy, NZComedy

Rideshare?

Rideshare?

Two things you can’t avoid, death and taxis.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on March 24, 2026March 21, 2026Categories DEATH, Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, DEATH, DeathAndTaxis, NZComedy, Taxis

Failbork

Failbork

For those cynics who don’t believe FB is taking strong action against white supremacist propaganda, they now ban boosting posts with the word “Facebook” in them.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on March 23, 2026March 21, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, FacebookBan, NZComedy

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