Joke – Page 4 – Julia Clement

Safety

Safety Tip: Always bend your knees not your back when bashing your head against a brick wall.

I’m staying home and eating my own cooking.

Hmmm. Safer to dine out.

Don’t ever say to a geek “You do the maths.”

We’ll stare at the ceiling for 5 minutes then say “72”, by which time you’ve forgotten the question.

It’s better to inspire than to expire!

Do yachts have “Sail by” dates?

We have a super early bird special for people who already have worms.

Homeopathic cure for drowning:

Start with water & dilute it with water until there is no water left.

Because of the bad publicity, Covid-19 has gone into hiding & is now named Covert-19.

65.5 million years ago an asteroid crashed into Mexico and wiped out the dinosaurs.

Including those further north who hadn’t the foresight to build a wall.

Too soon?

I stopped ride sharing when my car broke down underground.

My mechanic said it was the worst case of carpool tunnel syndrome he’d ever seen.