I don’t understand how Internet trolls function.
How do they get decent WIFI under the bridge?
Blogs
Side Splitting
Comedy’s all fun and games until someone splits their sides.
Scalpers
Totally pissed off at the scalpers.
My show’s been on sale for 4 days & they still haven’t bought all the tickets.
Penis Jokes
I’d tell penis jokes, but there’s a shortage.
Guy Fawkes
If they ban fireworks at Guy Fawkes, how do we stop the papists blowing up parliament?
Old iPhone
My iPhone is so old that when I pick it up, Siri says “Number please.”
Blue Whales
Question on a quiz show:
The main food of Blue Whales is?
- Krill,
- Anchovies,
- Sardines?
Obviously Krill, how’s a whale going to open a can?
Too Close
Time to get tough on people who stand too close to themselves.
Cats
Are my wife’s pets my step cats or my cats-in-law?
Epilator
The epilator took 15 years to develop.
One to make it work & fourteen to make it hurt more.