Food – Julia Clement

Butter don’t melt (Repost)

I’ve just realised. Butter really doesn’t melt in vegans’ mouths.

I’m carefully studying the margarine.

I don’t want to spread any fake butter.

I bought a large tub of margarine to share with my neighbours …

community spread.

Organic food’s another name for an old idea.

My mum used to serve up steak and kidney, liver and bacon, sweetbreads, etc.

We just called it “Offal.”

I think my Google-foo is failing.

I typed in my symptoms & it said I have cannelloni.

Not even close, my pastaia swears I had fettuccine.

I have diarrhoea & feel wobbly. I told you my cooking at home wasn’t safe.

I’m staying home and eating my own cooking.

Hmmm.

Safer to dine out.

Covid scare: I was eating out & couldn’t taste my food.

Then I remembered I was in McDs.

Phew!

Airline food’s bad because something has to make hospital food look good.

“Why is airline food so bad?”

“Something has to make post funeral refreshments seem good.”