When I say I fix up my lipstick after smoking.
I mean I can only find my lipstick when I’m searching my handbag for a lighter!
Category: Joke-a-day
Experimental Joke-a-day
Fireworks
If they ban fireworks at Guy Fawkes, how do we stop the papists returning and blowing up parliament?
Half Coffee
“Optimists say the cup is half full Pessimists say the cup is half empty.
Julia doesn’t care as long as the half that’s there is coffee.”
— a former co-worker
Airline Food
Airline food’s bad because something has to make hospital food look good.
Reposessed
Forget to pay the exorcist & be repossessed.
Death’s Ghostwriter
So ironic that I’m now DEATH‘s ghostwriter.
On Hiatus
When I started doing this series 9 months ago I said that Joke A Day was to encourage me, not a promise. Despite that I have posted one a day since then.
Stuff’s been happening in my life leaving me exhausted & I find myself needing a short break during which I’ll post updated versions of the early memes. Facebook & Instagram run a couple of weeks behind the series on here so I’ll need to start posting new superheroes / villains here no later than 19 November to not break the series there.
When I’m back I already have the text for Subtext, Captain Obvious, Plasticor & Magneta ready to roll so I just need to create the graphics. There’s about another hundred in draft to fix the text and create the graphics.
Captain Kina
Super Hero File
Name: Captain Kina
Origin: Living a peaceful life eating seaweed when the same radiation leak that created TAXman changed their life for ever
Powers: A prickly character
Aims: To raise sea level to create ever larger fields of yummy kelp
DEATHman
Super Hero File
Name: DEATHman
Origin: In an attempt to reduce his workload, DEATH comes to Earth and battles people who ignore workplace and road safety rules.
Powers: Catchphrase: Quick Vulture, to the DEATHmobile.
Aims: Lower death rate.
Weaknesses: Contractually forbidden to resurrect clients.
Foes: Simeon Brown
Affiliates: Vulture
Tornado
Super Villain File
Name: Tornado
Origin: Originally a plant ecologist until leaves blown by Leaf Rider during her origin gave her the power to blow back with massive force.
Powers: Creates massive winds that can destroy anything in their path.
Aims: End Leaf Blower’s control of fallen leaves to allow natural composting.
Weaknesses: Can not enter storm cellars.
Foes: Leaf Rider