Skip to content

Julia Clement

Comedian, Playwright, Director, Producer

  • Home
  • Events
  • Venues
  • Links
  • Blogs
  • About
  • Privacy
  • Instagram
  • Twitter
  • Facebook
Julia Clement

Category: Joke-a-day

Experimental Joke-a-day

Crystals

Crystals

A large number of experiments have shown crystals to be just as effective as homeopathy without running the risk of water borne diseases.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on March 17, 2026March 16, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Crystals, Homeopathy, NZComedy, Sick

Cockapoo

Cockapoo

I just found out a Cockapoo is a type of dog.

That’s worse than taking the piss.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on March 16, 2026March 14, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags Cockapoo, Comedy, Dog, NZComedy

Metric

Metric

The metric system seems natural to us as we have 5 digits on each hand, 10 in total.

A few countries like 12, for exactly the same reason.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on March 15, 2026March 14, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Metric, NZComedy

Covert 19

Covert 19

Because of the bad publicity, Covid-19 has gone into hiding & is now named Covert-19.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on March 14, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Covid, NZComedy, Sick

Selective

Selective

On the stage everything I said was true, but not everything was said. Not that I was selective with the truth, I only had 20 minutes.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on March 13, 2026March 9, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, NZComedy, Selective, Truth

Inspire?

Inspire?

It’s better to inspire than to expire!

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on March 12, 2026March 8, 2026Categories DEATH, Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, DEATH, Expire, Inspire, NZComedy

Knees

Knees

Safety Tip: Always bend your knees not your back when bashing your head against a brick wall.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on March 11, 2026March 8, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Brick wall, Comedy, Head, NZComedy, Safety, Wall

Job Search

Job Search

I applied for a job as a comedian but the recruiter just laughed at me.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on March 10, 2026March 6, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedian, Comedy, JobApplication, NZComedy, Recruiter

Coding

Coding

Did my first serious bit of coding in 18 months yesterday & this morning this.

It’s an omen I tell you.

An omen!

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on March 9, 2026March 6, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Coding, Comedy, NZComedy, Omens, Programmer, Programming

Computer Programmer

Computer Programmer

I’m a computer programmer so I deal in numbers.

Zero and one to be precise!

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on March 8, 2026March 6, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Mathematics, Maths, Numbers, NZComedy, Programmer, ZeroAndOne

Posts pagination

Previous page Page 1 … Page 10 Page 11 Page 12 … Page 27 Next page

One Liners

Tweets by JuliaClementNZ

Recent Posts

  • Trolls
  • Side Splitting
  • Scalpers
  • Penis Jokes?
  • Blue Whales

Recent Comments

  • Food & Drink Channel on Blue Whales
  • Ria Prilutski on Cats
  • Social Media Channel on Social Media
  • jay disabled_heart on Hi
  • Julia Clement on Comedian?

Archives

  • June 2026
  • May 2026
  • April 2026
  • March 2026
  • February 2026
  • January 2026
  • December 2025
  • October 2025
  • November 2024
  • October 2024
  • September 2024
  • November 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • September 2017

Categories

  • 10 Years a Comedian, 3 in a Skirt
  • 50 Years
  • Ancestors
  • Animal Names
  • Conspiracy Theories
  • DEATH
  • General Info
  • Gigs
  • Joke-a-day
  • Series
  • Super Files
  • Uncategorized
  • Video Jokes
  • Website

Meta

  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.org
  • Home
  • Events
  • Venues
  • Links
  • Blogs
  • About
  • Privacy
  • Instagram
  • Twitter
  • Facebook
Julia Clement Privacy Policy Proudly powered by WordPress