Why do I feel like I’m living in a Phillip K. Dick novel?
Probably “Now Wait For Last Year.”
Category: Joke-a-day
Experimental Joke-a-day
Karma
I don’t believe in karma.
I’m still trying to decide how I feel about korma!
Low Fibre
Toilet paper shortage?
I’m switching to a low fibre diet for the duration.
Numbers
I don’t want to seem irrational but I can never remember if numbers are real or imaginary or both and that’s integral to a complex problem!
Who’s for Occam?
I’ve come to the conclusion that conspiracy theorists bypass Occam’s razor in favour of Occam’s epilator!
Panic Buying
Panic buying toilet paper is a shitty thing to do.
Break a Leg?
I’m a comedian not an actor.
Stop telling me to “Break a leg!”
When my wife was a custom baker, I used to tell her to “Crack an egg.”
Why not tell me to “Crack a joke” instead?
Fruit Trees
We had fruit trees when I was a kid but I kept eating their children.
Sacred Covenant
Marriage is a sacred covenant between one couple and the registrar of births deaths and marriages!
We give them money and they give us a certificate
Monsters
Why do zombies eat brains?
Why do vampires avoid the sun?
Why do werewolves hump your leg?