Time and peristalsis wait for no-one.
Category: Joke-a-day
Experimental Joke-a-day
Apollo
Rocket fuel is so toxic that 55 years later nothing grows at the Apollo 11 landing site!
Subtext
Super Villain File
Name: Subtext
Origin: The same alien beam missed its mark and hit Olivia’s bitter rival, Helen Hint. Now possessing the ability to speak only in riddles and hidden meanings, she became Subtext, a villain dedicated to spreading confusion!
Aims: Dedicated to spreading confusion!
Foes: Captain Obvious
Captain Obvious
Super Hero File
Name: Captain Obvious
Origin: Mild-mannered librarian Olivia Point was struck by a mysterious beam from an alien spacecraft, granting her the power to state the obvious so emphatically that it leaves her enemies dumbfounded! She took on the name Captain Obvious, battling crime with truth and simplicity.
Powers: States the obvious to confuse enemies.
Weaknesses: Is completely oblivious to sarcasm.
Foes: Subtext
Plasticor
Super Villain File
Name: Plasticor
Origin: Formerly a brilliant but unscrupulous scientist, Dr. Paul Tridax lost his hand in a freak accident involving synthetic polymers.
Replacing it with a plastic appendage, he found he could control all plastics and vowed to rid the world of metal, becoming the sinister Plasticor!
Powers: Controls all plastic materials.
Aims: Vowed to rid the world of metal
Foes: Magneta
Magneta
Super Hero File
Name: Magneta
Origin: On a stormy night, young inventor Maggie Sparks was struck by a bolt of lightning while experimenting with her latest gadget—a magnetic amplifier.
When she awoke, she discovered she had gained the power to attract all metal objects!
Now, as Magneta, she fights for justice, though she struggles with her unfortunate metal allergy.
Powers: Attracts all metal objects.
Weaknesses: Has a metal allergy.
Foes: Plasticor
Lost Keys
A woman is a woman is a woman.
I was just late to the party, needing to find myself first.
I was on the hall table with the lost keys and the mail.
Homophones
I just don’t understand the English language.
If homophobes are people who hate gays, why aren’t homophones people who chat to gays?
Or iPhones with Grindr installed?
Tour of Europe
Q: What do dead Kiwis tour Europe in?
A: VW Zombis.
Whiskey
If God had meant us to put ice in our whiskey they never would have given us the Sahara Desert!