AucklandComedy – Page 12

Measles

English measles: “I have measles”

German measles: ,,Ich habe masern”

The ultimate in fast food, the Heisenburger.

You can either know where it is or how fast you’re eating it.

Don’t say “Homeopathic”, call it what it is “Homeopathetic.”

Ted talks: Mansplaining on steroids.

Pontius Pilot was a comedian.

The Bible says he nailed it.

Safety First: Always web surf between the flags.

I’m convinced AI stands for “Artificial Incompetence.”

Why do pilot’s uniforms still look like military officer uniforms from the 1940s?

The funniest thing about my DEATH character is that it’s doing live comedy.

I look pretty hot in everything except maxi-dresses.

Nobody looks good in a maxi-dress.