AucklandComedy – Page 11

Autocorrect

I’ve finally convinced Autocorrect that I’m unlikely to say “I don’t give a water bird.”

Now for the rare occasion when I want to keep my duck.

Sheep are gregarious.

Named for Saint Gregory who taught them to bleat in harmony.

My superpowers are intact!

I hung the washing and now it’s raining.

So many people catch Covid from household contacts we should mandate masks and distancing at home.

Nah, I’m waiting for shellac 78s to come back.

Better still wax cylinders.

Does Winnie-The-Pooh shit in the Hundred Acre Wood?

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Celebrating 100 years since Winnie-The-Pooh was published.

Let’s hope the demons in Hell can parallel process punishments or eternity will be a very long time and seem longer.

Idearrhea: What happens when your head can’t contain all your thoughts.

Why are earthquakes centred 45 km underground?

Cowards!

Come up to the surface and fight fair you trembling tremors.

John suspected it was going to be a bad day when he saw his wife’s relationship status had changed to “Widowed”.