Joke – Julia Clement

Toilet Paper

No need to bulk buy toilet paper.

Unwind it to get more than one wipe per roll.

Why do pilot’s uniforms still look like military officer uniforms from the 1940s?

I’ve just realised.

Butter really doesn’t melt in vegans’ mouths.

I’m considering making a follow-up to “Supersize Me” where I eat KFC every day.

It’s called “Lick my fingers”

I have a cup of tea every year, but I am trying to cut back.

The wheels fell off for the NZ Equestrian team at the last Olympics.

Team managers say “Next time we’ll try hooves.”

“A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.” — Mark Twain.

Except he didn’t say it! A meta-lie.

I keep coming back as a flower.

It’s a bad case of reincarnation.

Hell yes!

Other brands, not so much!

It’s better to have dreamed and wakened than to suffer incurable insomnia.