I’ve started a loyalty scheme for my fans …
Every 10th joke is free!
Tag: Joke
Trees
My joke about thinking trees flopped.
It was too cerebral for most and too arboreal for others.
Break a Leg
I’m a comedian not an actor.
Stop telling me to “Break a leg!”
When my wife was a custom baker, I used to tell her to “Crack an egg.”
Why not tell me to “Crack a joke” instead?
Subtext
Super Villain File
Name: Subtext
Origin: The same alien beam missed its mark and hit Olivia’s bitter rival, Helen Hint. Now possessing the ability to speak only in riddles and hidden meanings, she became Subtext, a villain dedicated to spreading confusion!
Aims: Dedicated to spreading confusion!
Foes: Captain Obvious
Captain Obvious
Super Hero File
Name: Captain Obvious
Origin: Mild-mannered librarian Olivia Point was struck by a mysterious beam from an alien spacecraft, granting her the power to state the obvious so emphatically that it leaves her enemies dumbfounded! She took on the name Captain Obvious, battling crime with truth and simplicity.
Powers: States the obvious to confuse enemies.
Weaknesses: Is completely oblivious to sarcasm.
Foes: Subtext
Plasticor
Super Villain File
Name: Plasticor
Origin: Formerly a brilliant but unscrupulous scientist, Dr. Paul Tridax lost his hand in a freak accident involving synthetic polymers.
Replacing it with a plastic appendage, he found he could control all plastics and vowed to rid the world of metal, becoming the sinister Plasticor!
Powers: Controls all plastic materials.
Aims: Vowed to rid the world of metal
Foes: Magneta
Magneta
Super Hero File
Name: Magneta
Origin: On a stormy night, young inventor Maggie Sparks was struck by a bolt of lightning while experimenting with her latest gadget—a magnetic amplifier.
When she awoke, she discovered she had gained the power to attract all metal objects!
Now, as Magneta, she fights for justice, though she struggles with her unfortunate metal allergy.
Powers: Attracts all metal objects.
Weaknesses: Has a metal allergy.
Foes: Plasticor
Captain Kina
Super Hero File
Name: Captain Kina
Origin: Living a peaceful life eating seaweed when the same radiation leak that created TAXman changed their life for ever
Powers: A prickly character
Aims: To raise sea level to create ever larger fields of yummy kelp
DEATHman
Super Hero File
Name: DEATHman
Origin: In an attempt to reduce his workload, DEATH comes to Earth and battles people who ignore workplace and road safety rules.
Powers: Catchphrase: Quick Vulture, to the DEATHmobile.
Aims: Lower death rate.
Weaknesses: Contractually forbidden to resurrect clients.
Foes: Simeon Brown
Affiliates: Vulture
Bubble Lass
Super Hero File
Name: Bubble Lass
Origin: After falling into a vat of experimental bubble solution at the circus, circus performer Betty Bubbles gained the ability to blow indestructible bubbles of all sizes! Now, as Bubble Lass, she traps villains in her bouncy spheres—unless a sudden pop frightens her!
Powers: Blows indestructible bubbles.
Weaknesses: Afraid of popping sounds.
Foes: Madam Sword