If they ban fireworks at Guy Fawkes, how do we stop the papists returning and blowing up parliament?
Tag: Joke
Old iPhone
My iPhone is so old that when I pick it up, Siri says “Number please?”
Whale Food
Question on a quiz show:
The main food of Blue Whales is?
Krill, Anchovies, Sardines?
Obviously Krill, how’s a whale going to open a can?
Facebook 5G
You can’t call a person truly alone who has social media and 5G coverage.
Cats
Are my wife’s pets my step cats or my cats-in-law?
Epilator
The epilator took 15 years to develop.
One to make it work & fourteen to make it hurt more.
Moon Landing
Cinematography in 1902 was nowhere near advanced enough to fake a moon landing so we have to accept Georges Méliès’ “Le voyage dans la lune” as a record of the first successful French moon shot.
It’s a shame that they lost their moon base to the NAZIs in 1940 & never got it back.
Winston
Winston’s the laxative of NZ politics.
If he’s the answer, you really can’t give a shit.
Sunglasses
You can always spot Aucklanders …
Windscreen wipers on our sunglasses.
Political Correctness
Political correctness has not gone mad, it’s just on antidepressants.