A Joke A Day – Julia Clement

Closet

I had to come out of the closet.

It was full of dresses that no longer fitted

Being an uber geek I still sometimes wake up in the middle of the night wondering about major issues like “Do earthworms have parasites?”

Safety Tip: Always bend your knees not your back when bashing your head against a brick wall.

I’m staying home and eating my own cooking.

Hmmm. Safer to dine out.

Don’t ever say to a geek “You do the maths.”

We’ll stare at the ceiling for 5 minutes then say “72”, by which time you’ve forgotten the question.

I don’t have writer’s block! I’ve been possessed by the ghost of Marcel Marceau!

It’s better to inspire than to expire!

Do yachts have “Sail by” dates?

We have a super early bird special for people who already have worms.

I applied for a job as a comedian but the recruiter just laughed at me.