My iPhone is so old that when I pick it up, Siri says “Number please?”
Author: A Joke A Day
Whales
Question on a quiz show: The main food of Blue Whales is?
- Krill,
- Anchovies,
- Sardines?
Obviously Krill, how’s a whale going to open a can?
Bonfire Night
If they ban fireworks at Guy Fawkes, how do we stop the papists returning and blowing up parliament?
Too Close?
Time to get tough on people who stand too close to themselves.
Cats
Are my wife’s pets my step cats or my cats-in-law?
Lonely?
You can’t call a person truly alone who has social media and 5G coverage.
Epilator
The epilator took 15 years to develop.
One to make it work & fourteen to make it hurt more.
Monsters (Halloween Repost)
Why do zombies eat brains?
Why do vampires avoid the sun?
Why do werewolves hump your leg?
Georges Méliès
Cinematography in 1902 was nowhere near advanced enough to fake a moon landing so we have to accept Georges Méliès’ as a record of the first successful French moon shot.
It’s a shame that they lost their moon base to the NAZIs in 1940 & never got it back.
New Zealand When?
Winston’s the laxative of NZ politics.
If he’s the answer, you really can’t give a shit.