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Julia Clement

Comedian, Playwright, Director, Producer

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Julia Clement

Author: A Joke A Day

Too Soon?

Too Soon?

65.5 million years ago an asteroid crashed into Mexico and wiped out the dinosaurs, including those further north who hadn’t the foresight to build a wall.

Too soon?

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on January 28, 2026January 28, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags Asteroid, AucklandComedy, Comedy, Dinosaurs, NZComedy

Jokes

Jokes

Jokes: a moment on the lips and a lifetime on the quips.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on January 27, 2026January 24, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Jokes, NZComedy

Touring

Touring

Q: What do dead Kiwis tour Europe in?

A: VW Zombis.

(The mythological character formerly known as DEATH)

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on January 26, 2026January 24, 2026Categories DEATH, Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, DEATH, Kiwis, NZComedy, Touring, Zombies

English Language

English Language

I just don’t understand the English language.

If homophobes are people who hate gays, why aren’t homophones people who chat to gays?

Or iPhones with Grindr installed?

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on January 25, 2026January 24, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Homophobes, Homophones, iPhone, NZComedy

Airline Food

Airline Food

“Why is airline food so bad?”

“Something has to make post funeral refreshments seem good.”

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on January 24, 2026January 23, 2026Categories DEATH, Joke-a-dayTags Airline, AucklandComedy, Comedy, DEATH, Food, NZComedy

Importer Syndrome

Importer Syndrome

I think I’ve got importer syndrome.

That feeling all my success comes from overseas.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on January 23, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Importer, Imposter Syndrome, NZComedy

Ocker

Ocker

There’s a new dating app out for people who want to date Australians. It’s called Ockr.

Their slogan is “Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, swipe, swipe, swipe.”

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on January 22, 2026January 13, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Australia, Comedy, Dating, NZComedy

Crossroads

Crossroads

Day 12,345, still no Godot.

DEATH steps in.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on January 21, 2026January 13, 2026Categories DEATH, Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Crossroads, DEATH, NZComedy, Waiting

Birthdays

Birthdays

Birthdays are funny things.

We’re basically celebrating that we haven’t died during the previous 365 days.

Why not celebrate the last day of every month we haven’t died in?

More parties.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on January 20, 2026January 4, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Food, NZComedy

Charity

Charity

I’m over donating to cancer.

The cynical bastard takes our money and keeps killing people.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on January 19, 2026January 13, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Donating, Medication, NZComedy

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