Definition of irony: I just discovered my recycling bin has no recycling mark.
Meaning when it wears out or the council changes it I’ll have to send it to the landfill.
Category: Joke-a-day
Experimental Joke-a-day
Parallels
What about those parallel universes?
Like ours except for trivial changes.
Untold numbers of realities where Hillary was elected, dozens where Jacinda never replaced Little, a few where Trump was a good president and maybe even one where Windows doesn’t crash?
I think I’m being followed.
Thank you for the kind words. Not that I’m ever likely to perform these one-line jokes (I do long form jokes) but it’s nice to know that people other than myself enjoy them.
Julia
Boundaries
They renamed the K-T boundary to the K-Pg boundary because the thought of asteroids wiping out the dinosaurs was too much for young children.
Gum Crime
Gum crime is out of control!
Yesterday there was a large chunk stuck to my shoe.
Athletes
One country’s athletes have been banned from Paralympics for doping.
The clue was their diabetic team weren’t in a coma.
Hedgehogs
Hedgehogs may look cuddly but they are selfish pricks.
Insomnia
Being an uber geek I still sometimes wake up in the middle of the night wondering about major issues like “Do earthworms have parasites?”
Celery
Celery!
Get addicted to celery!
Gambling, sugar, sex, heroin, tobacco, meth-amphetamine addictions will kill you or ruin your life.
Celery is the answer.
Celery is a pretty harmless thing to be addicted to, just don’t mainline the bloody stuff!
Autocorrect to Wrong Word
I hate the way autocorrect manages to choose the wrong word.
The price of intelligibility is consonant vigilante.