Joke-a-day – Page 16 – Julia Clement

Trolls

I don’t understand how Internet trolls function.

How do they get decent WIFI under the bridge?

Comedy’s all fun and games until someone splits their sides.

Totally pissed off at the scalpers.

My show’s been on sale for 4 days & they still haven’t bought all the tickets.

I’d tell penis jokes, but there’s a shortage.

If they ban fireworks at Guy Fawkes, how do we stop the papists blowing up parliament?

My iPhone is so old that when I pick it up, Siri says “Number please.”

Question on a quiz show:

The main food of Blue Whales is?

Obviously Krill, how’s a whale going to open a can?

Time to get tough on people who stand too close to themselves.

Are my wife’s pets my step cats or my cats-in-law?

The epilator took 15 years to develop.

One to make it work & fourteen to make it hurt more.