Joke-a-day – Page 17 – Julia Clement

Carrot

I ate a plant based carrot once and it was horrible.

Be careful out there gourmands.

My joke about thinking trees flopped.

It was too cerebral for most and too arboreal for others.

Julia: At an open mic, some comedians will kill and others will die.

DEATH: All good. Either way suits me.

“Does the bar serve diet blood or just that crappy blood zero? Asking for a friend.” The mythological creature formerly known as DEATH

DEATH: Et in Arcadia Ego. (“Even in Arcadia, there am I”, Mission Bay not Arcadia, but who’s counting?)

Julia: One day the stars will align.

DEATH: Yes! On 6 May 2492. It’s the 1,000th anniversary of Columbus’ first trip.

DEATH: Add extra colour to your salads with these pretty red mushrooms.

Stop sending me virgins …

Do I look like a chaperone?

Schrödinger’s conspiracy theory: You can’t tell if it’s real or not until the FBI lets you subpoena the records.

Has anyone else noticed the similarity between Baron Trump and Eddie Munster?

I wonder if they could be related?