Joke-a-day – Page 2 – Julia Clement

Charity

I’m over donating to cancer.

The cynical bastard takes our money and keeps killing people.

WTF – Briscoes are having a sale! ???

It’s the end of civilisation as we know it.

Next you’ll have men and women marrying each other and we’ll all be getting bargains at The Warehouse.

Methamphetamine, morphine, methadone, and cocaine found in Auckland sewer system.

Where’s the crocodiles?

I ate a plant based carrot once and it was horrible.

Be careful out there gourmands.

My joke about thinking trees flopped.

It was too cerebral for most and too arboreal for others.

Julia: At an open mic, some comedians will kill and others will die.

DEATH: All good. Either way suits me.

“Does the bar serve diet blood or just that crappy blood zero? Asking for a friend.” The mythological creature formerly known as DEATH

DEATH: Et in Arcadia Ego. (“Even in Arcadia, there am I”, Mission Bay not Arcadia, but who’s counting?)

Julia: One day the stars will align.

DEATH: Yes! On 6 May 2492. It’s the 1,000th anniversary of Columbus’ first trip.

DEATH: Add extra colour to your salads with these pretty red mushrooms.