NZComedy – Page 3 – Julia Clement

Safe Surfing

Safety First: Always web surf between the flags.

I once lived in an apartment with a Smeg washing machine.

It worked well but to wash my underwear I needed to carefully clean the bowl first.

I looked up cormorants and shags on Wikipedia.

Seems the only difference is cormorants lack crests and the crested birds just want to shag.

I’m convinced AI stands for “Artificial Incompetence.”

Why did the chicken cross the toad?

Because it was a poor typist!

No need to bulk buy toilet paper.

Unwind it to get more than one wipe per roll.

Why do pilot’s uniforms still look like military officer uniforms from the 1940s?

I’ve just realised.

Butter really doesn’t melt in vegans’ mouths.

I’m considering making a follow-up to “Supersize Me” where I eat KFC every day.

It’s called “Lick my fingers”

I have a cup of tea every year, but I am trying to cut back.