May 2024 – Julia Clement

Transphobes

Q: How many transphobes does it take to change a tyre?

A: One, the others are scared their lacy panties will show if they bend down.

I’m convinced AI stands for “Artificial Incompetence.”

Why did the chicken cross the toad?

Because it was a poor typist!

No need to bulk buy toilet paper.

Unwind it to get more than one wipe per roll.

Caesar said “Veni, vidi, feci sem”

(I came, I saw, I made salad)

Why do pilot’s uniforms still look like military officer uniforms from the 1940s?

I’ve just realised.

Butter really doesn’t melt in vegans’ mouths.

I’m considering making a follow-up to “Supersize Me” where I eat KFC every day.

It’s called “Lick my fingers”

I have a cup of tea every year, but I am trying to cut back.

The funniest thing about my DEATH character is that it’s doing live comedy.