AucklandComedy – Julia Clement

Cup of Tea

I have a cup of tea every year, but I am trying to cut back.

I don’t want to seem irrational but I can never remember if numbers are real or imaginary or both and that’s integral to a complex problem!

Panic buying toilet paper is a shitty thing to do.

I’m a comedian not an actor.

Stop telling me to “Break a leg!”

When my wife was a custom baker, I used to tell her to “Crack an egg.”

Why not tell me to “Crack a joke” instead?

Imagine 1950s social media.

Send a letter, wait 2 weeks for a reply, then suddenly we have airmail and the LOL comes back in under a week.

(This is last night's post a few hours late after a server outage)

I bought a large tub of margarine to share with my neighbours … community spread.

There’s nothing funny about being funny.

My superpowers are intact!

I hung the washing and now it’s raining.

Nah, I’m waiting for shellac 78s to come back.

Better still wax cylinders.

Idearrhea: What happens when your head can’t contain all your thoughts.