Toilet paper shortage?
I’m switching to a low fibre diet for the duration.
Tag: AucklandComedy
Numbers
I don’t want to seem irrational but I can never remember if numbers are real or imaginary or both and that’s integral to a complex problem!
Occam’s Razor
I’ve come to the conclusion that conspiracy theorists bypass Occam’s razor in favour of Occam’s epilator!
Panic Buying
Panic buying toilet paper is a shitty thing to do.
Break A Leg
I’m a comedian not an actor.
Stop telling me to “Break a leg!”
When my wife was a custom baker, I used to tell her to “Crack an egg.”
Why not tell me to “Crack a joke” instead?
Fruit Trees
We had fruit trees when I was a kid but I kept eating their children.
Marriage
Marriage is a sacred covenant between one couple and the registrar of births deaths and marriages!
We give them money and they give us a certificate.
Monsters
Why do zombies eat brains?
Why do vampires avoid the sun?
Why do werewolves hump your leg?
50s Social Media
Imagine 1950s social media.
Send a letter, wait 2 weeks for a reply, then suddenly we have airmail and the LOL comes back in under a week.
Margarine
I bought a large tub of margarine to share with my neighbours
…
Community spread.