AucklandComedy – Page 12

European Tour (Repost)

Q: What do dead Kiwis tour Europe in?

A: VW Zombis.

(Repost to go with theme of yesterday’s post)

Why do zombies eat brains?

Why do vampires avoid the sun?

Why do werewolves hump your leg?

I’ve just realised. Butter really doesn’t melt in vegans’ mouths.

I’m carefully studying the margarine.

I don’t want to spread any fake butter.

I bought a large tub of margarine to share with my neighbours …

community spread.

There’s nothing funny about being funny.

I’ve finally convinced Autocorrect that I’m unlikely to say “I don’t give a water bird.”

Now for the rare occasion when I want to keep my duck.

Sheep are gregarious.

Named for Saint Gregory who taught them to bleat in harmony.

My superpowers are intact!

I hung the washing and now it’s raining.