Comedian, Playwright, Director, Producer
I wrote a letter today and used the word “Mnemonic” four times.
Every single time I spelled it wrong, so I wrote this little mnemonic to remember it “Many Nematodes Eat Mushy Organic Noodles In Cafes” which would be great if only I could remember how to spell nematoads.
My doctor told me I need a lighter diet so I wrote The Helium Cookbook.
I wanted to take the Waterview tunnel, but someone told me where it came out.
SPOILER!
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
(Paraphrase of Joseph Heller’s, Catch-22. Said about Yossarian.)
I don’t understand how Internet trolls function.
How do they get decent WIFI under the bridge?
Totally pissed off at the scalpers.
My show’s been on sale for 4 days & they still haven’t bought all the tickets.
Comedy’s all fun and games until someone splits their sides.
I’d tell penis jokes, but there’s a shortage.
My iPhone is so old that when I pick it up, Siri says “Number please?”
Question on a quiz show: The main food of Blue Whales is?
Obviously Krill, how’s a whale going to open a can?
