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Julia Clement

Comedian, Playwright, Director, Producer

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Julia Clement

Tag: AucklandComedy

Occam’s?

Occam’s?

I’ve come to the conclusion that conspiracy theorists bypass Occam’s razor in favour of Occam’s epilator!

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on September 15, 2025September 13, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, ConspiracyTheorists, NZComedy, Occam'sRazor

Panic Buying

Panic Buying

Panic buying toilet paper is a shitty thing to do.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on September 14, 2025September 13, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, NZComedy, PanicBuying, ToiletPaper

Break a Leg

Break a Leg

I’m a comedian not an actor.

Stop telling me to “Break a leg!”

When my wife was a custom baker, I used to tell her to “Crack an egg.”

Why not tell me to “Crack a joke” instead?

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on September 13, 2025September 10, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, CustomBaker, Joke, NZComedy1 Comment on Break a Leg

Baby Trees

Baby Trees

We had fruit trees when I was a kid but I kept eating their children.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on September 12, 2025September 10, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Fruit, FruitTrees, NZComedy

Marriage

Marriage

Marriage is a sacred covenant between one couple and the registrar of births deaths and marriages!

We give them money and they give us a certificate.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on September 11, 2025September 6, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Bride, Comedy, Marriage, NZComedy, Wedding Cake1 Comment on Marriage

Monsters

Monsters

Why do zombies eat brains?

Why do vampires avoid the sun?

Why do werewolves hump your leg?

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on September 10, 2025September 6, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Monsters, NZComedy, Vampires, Werewolves, Zombies

1950s Social Media

1950s Social Media

Imagine 1950s social media.

Send a letter, wait 2 weeks for a reply,

then suddenly we have airmail and the LOL comes back in under a week.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on September 9, 2025September 6, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags 1950s, AucklandComedy, Comedy, NZComedy, Social Media

Marge

Marge

I bought a large tub of margarine to share with my neighbours …

community spread.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on September 8, 2025September 6, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Food, Margarine, NZComedy

Funny?

Funny?

There’s nothing funny about being funny.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on September 7, 2025September 5, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedian, Comedy, Funny, NZComedy

Autocorrected Ducks?

Autocorrected Ducks?
Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on September 6, 2025September 5, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Autocorrect, Comedy, Duck, NZComedy1 Comment on Autocorrected Ducks?

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Events

  • March 20, 2026
  • Pt Chev, Comedy in Coyle Park
    • March 20, 2026
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    • April 3, 2026
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