Be careful what you wish for.
You might find a specialist who will prescribe it.
Tag: AucklandComedy
Air Miles
London to Sofia 2,013 km; Auckland to Sydney 2,223 km.
England is closer to Bulgaria than NZ to Australia yet we don’t confuse them.
Sleeping Dogs
My dog growls when he dreams.
I think he’s been sleeping ruff.
New Names
Ever noticed how they like to invent new names for old things so they can claim they’re a new idea.
Take driverless cars, 40 years ago we just used to say “Forgot to put the handbrake on.”
Writer’s Block?
I don’t have writer’s block!
I’ve been possessed by the ghost of Marcel Marceau!
Between the Ears
Gender is what’s between the ears, not what’s between the legs
…
My gender must be wax.
Monsters (Halloween Repost)
Why do zombies eat brains?
Why do vampires avoid the sun?
Why do werewolves hump your leg?
Subtext
Super Villain File
Name: Subtext
Origin: The same alien beam missed its mark and hit Olivia’s bitter rival, Helen Hint. Now possessing the ability to speak only in riddles and hidden meanings, she became Subtext, a villain dedicated to spreading confusion!
Aims: Dedicated to spreading confusion!
Foes: Captain Obvious
Captain Obvious
Super Hero File
Name: Captain Obvious
Origin: Mild-mannered librarian Olivia Point was struck by a mysterious beam from an alien spacecraft, granting her the power to state the obvious so emphatically that it leaves her enemies dumbfounded! She took on the name Captain Obvious, battling crime with truth and simplicity.
Powers: States the obvious to confuse enemies.
Weaknesses: Is completely oblivious to sarcasm.
Foes: Subtext
Captain Kina
Super Hero File
Name: Captain Kina
Origin: Living a peaceful life eating seaweed when the same radiation leak that created TAXman changed their life for ever
Powers: A prickly character
Aims: To raise sea level to create ever larger fields of yummy kelp