AucklandComedy – Page 20

Early Bird

We have a super early bird special for people who already have worms.

Homeopathic cure for drowning: Start with water & dilute it with water until there is no water left.

Because of the bad publicity, Covid-19 has gone into hiding & is now named Covert-19.

65.5 million years ago an asteroid crashed into Mexico and wiped out the dinosaurs.

Including those further north who hadn’t the foresight to build a wall.

Too soon?

I just found out that a Cockapoo is a type of dog.

That’s worse than taking the piss.

I’ve started a loyalty scheme for my fans …

Every 10th joke is free!

Have you ever noticed that they have Mobility Parking yet Accessible Toilets?

Is this a subtle hint to men not to move too much in the toilet?

Gum crime is out of control!

Yesterday there was a large chunk stuck to my shoe.

They renamed the K-T boundary to the K-Pg boundary because the thought of asteroids wiping out the dinosaurs was too much for young children.

Hedgehogs may look cuddly but they are selfish pricks.