AucklandComedy – Page 7

Our Ancestors, Handy Man

Homo Habilis (Handy Man) was only around about 300,000 years but had time to invent scrapers, monogamy and, of necessity, the dildo.

Lets start with two important ancestors.

Homo Habilis & Homo Erectus: Handy man and Randy man.

We seem to love hearing about archaic humans but mostly only Neanderthals & recent Europeans get much press.

Let’s look at some older ones.

I’m over donating to cancer.

The cynical bastard takes our money and keeps killing people.

WTF – Briscoes are having a sale! ???

It’s the end of civilisation as we know it.

Next you’ll have men and women marrying each other and we’ll all be getting bargains at The Warehouse.

I think I’ve got importer syndrome.

That feeling all my success comes from overseas.

Methamphetamine, morphine, methadone, and cocaine found in Auckland sewer system.

Where’s the crocodiles?

Me: Wouldn’t giant hologram projectors need a lot of power?

Them: Yes, powered by the giant coal fired power stations in Australia.

[end]

Them: The ice wall is at the South Pole, not the North.

The Americans have a base there that generates powerful holograms to make it look like a point.

[continues]

It turns out that most of the people who believe Australia doesn’t exist also believe Atlantis doesn’t exist.