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Julia Clement

Comedian, Playwright, Director, Producer

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Julia Clement

Month: June 2025

Whiskey

Whiskey

If God had meant us to put ice in our whiskey they never would have given us the Sahara Desert!

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on June 20, 2025June 15, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Joke, NZComedy, Whiskey

Dinosaurs

Dinosaurs

65.5 million years ago an asteroid crashed into Mexico and wiped out the dinosaurs.

Including those further north who hadn’t the foresight to build a wall.

Too soon?

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on June 19, 2025June 15, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Dinosaurs, NZComedy

Jokes

Jokes

Jokes: a moment on the lips and a lifetime on the quips.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on June 18, 2025June 15, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Jokes, NZComedy

European Tour

European Tour

Q: What do dead Kiwis tour Europe in?

A: VW Zombis.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on June 17, 2025June 14, 2025Categories DEATH, Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, DEATH, NZComedy

English Language

English Language

I just don’t understand the English language.

If homophobes are people who hate gays, why aren’t homophones people who chat to gays?

Or iPhones with Grindr installed?

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on June 16, 2025June 14, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Homophobes, Homophones, iPhone, Language, NZComedy

Airline Food

Airline Food

Julia says “Why is airline food so bad?”

DEATH replies “Something has to make post funeral refreshments seem good.”

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on June 15, 2025June 11, 2025Categories DEATH, Joke-a-dayTags Airline, AucklandComedy, Comedy, DEATH, Food, NZComedy

Importer Syndrome

Importer Syndrome

I think I’ve got importer syndrome.

That feeling all my success comes from overseas.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on June 14, 2025June 11, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags Comedy, Importer, Imposter Syndrome, NZComedy

Ockr

Ockr

There’s a new dating app out for people who want to date Australians.

It’s called Ockr.

Their slogan is “Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, swipe, swipe, swipe.”

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on June 13, 2025June 11, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Australia, Comedy, Dating, Joke

Waiting For Godot

Waiting For Godot

Day 12,345, still no Godot.

DEATH steps in.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on June 12, 2025June 11, 2025Categories DEATH, Joke-a-dayTags Comedy, DEATH, Joke, NZComedy

Cancer

Cancer

I’m over donating to cancer.

The cynical bastard takes our money and keeps killing people.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on June 11, 2025June 6, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags Comedy, Donating, NZComedy

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Events

  • December 9, 2025
  • Comedy, Library Square, New Lynn
    • December 9, 2025
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  • December 12, 2025
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    • December 12, 2025
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  • December 16, 2025
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    • December 16, 2025
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  • December 19, 2025
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    • December 19, 2025
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  • December 23, 2025
  • Henderson Comedy Open Mic
    • December 23, 2025
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