Totally pissed off at the scalpers.
My show’s been on sale for 4 days & they still haven’t bought all the tickets.
Month: November 2025
Side Splitting
Comedy’s all fun and games until someone splits their sides.
Penis Jokes
I’d tell penis jokes, but there’s a shortage.
Old Phone
My iPhone is so old that when I pick it up, Siri says “Number please?”
Whales
Question on a quiz show: The main food of Blue Whales is?
- Krill,
- Anchovies,
- Sardines?
Obviously Krill, how’s a whale going to open a can?
Bonfire Night
If they ban fireworks at Guy Fawkes, how do we stop the papists returning and blowing up parliament?
Too Close?
Time to get tough on people who stand too close to themselves.
Cats
Are my wife’s pets my step cats or my cats-in-law?
Lonely?
You can’t call a person truly alone who has social media and 5G coverage.
Epilator
The epilator took 15 years to develop.
One to make it work & fourteen to make it hurt more.