Skip to content

Julia Clement

Comedian, Playwright, Director, Producer

  • Home
  • Events
  • Venues
  • Links
  • Blogs
  • About
  • Privacy
  • Instagram
  • Twitter
  • Facebook
Julia Clement

Month: December 2025

Endoscopes

Endoscopes

With so many jokes on endoscopes relying on innuendo, I prefer to sit them out.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on December 11, 2025December 7, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Endoscope, Innuendo, NZComedy

Trickle Down

Trickle Down

I refuse to surrender my country to people who think climate change is fake and trickle down is real.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on December 10, 2025December 7, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Coalition, Comedy, NZComedy, NZPol, Trickle Down

Woke or Sleeping?

Woke or Sleeping?

The opposite of “Woke” is “Sleeping”.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on December 9, 2025December 7, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, NZComedy, Woke

Xero?

Xero?

Why would I buy accounting software from someone who can’t even spell Zero?

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on December 8, 2025December 6, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags Accounting, AucklandComedy, Comedy, NZComedy, Software, ZeroAndOne

Winston

Winston

NZ politics is a case of Winston, Looseton.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on December 7, 2025December 6, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, NZComedy, NZPol, Winston

Water Tax

Water Tax

Was the Labour/Green proposed tax on water aimed at homeopaths?

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on December 6, 2025December 6, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Homeopathetic, NZComedy, Tax, Water

Sibling Rivalry

Sibling Rivalry

Sibling Rivalry: My Roomba just choked itself trying to eat the big vacuum cleaner’s power cord.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on December 5, 2025December 1, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, NZComedy, Roomba, Vacuum Cleaner

Rats

Rats

I’m unable to donate blood as when one of my medications is given in huge doses to pregnant rats it can cause birth defects.

Personally I’d rather my blood was given to humans, not rats.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on December 4, 2025December 1, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Blood, Comedy, Medication, NZComedy, Rats

LSD

LSD

LSD’s original name was LSD-25.

Dr Albert Hofmann synthesized new forms until number 25 when flying purple giraffes blocked the lab’s portcullis.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on December 3, 2025December 1, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, LSD, NZComedy

Ho Ho Ho Bar

Ho Ho Ho Bar

Santa’s favourite oil — Jojojoba.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on December 2, 2025December 1, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, NZComedy, Santa

Posts pagination

Previous page Page 1 Page 2 Page 3 Page 4 Next page

Events

<< Mar 2026 >>
MTWTFSS
23 24 25 26 27 28 1
2 3 4 5 6 7 8
9 10 11 12 13 14 15
16 17 18 19 20 21 22
23 24 25 26 27 28 29
30 31 1 2 3 4 5

Events

  • March 20, 2026
  • Pt Chev, Comedy in Coyle Park
    • March 20, 2026
    • Point Chevalier
  • March 24, 2026
  • Comedy, Library Square, New Lynn
    • March 24, 2026
    • New Lynn
  • March 27, 2026
  • Auckland Domain Bandstand New Comedy
    • March 27, 2026
    • Parnell
  • March 31, 2026
  • Jellicoe Park, Onehunga
    • March 31, 2026
    • Onehunga
  • April 3, 2026
  • Selwyn Domain, Mission Bay
    • April 3, 2026
    • Mission Bay

One Liners

Tweets by JuliaClementNZ

Recent Posts

  • Selective
  • Inspire?
  • Knees
  • Job Search
  • Coding

Recent Comments

  • Mathematics Channel on Computer Programmer
  • Food & Drink Channel on Home Cooking
  • Food & Drink Channel on COVID Scare
  • Tânia and Waldemar on Mathematics
  • ƧƿѦςɛ♏ѦਹѤʞ on Mathematics

Archives

  • March 2026
  • February 2026
  • January 2026
  • December 2025
  • November 2025
  • October 2025
  • September 2025
  • August 2025
  • November 2024
  • October 2024
  • September 2024
  • November 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • September 2017

Categories

  • 10 Years a Comedian, 3 in a Skirt
  • 50 Years
  • Ancestors
  • Animal Names
  • Conspiracy Theories
  • DEATH
  • General Info
  • Gigs
  • Joke-a-day
  • Series
  • Super Files
  • Video Jokes
  • Website

Meta

  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.org
  • Home
  • Events
  • Venues
  • Links
  • Blogs
  • About
  • Privacy
  • Instagram
  • Twitter
  • Facebook
Julia Clement Privacy Policy Proudly powered by WordPress