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Julia Clement

Comedian, Playwright, Director, Producer

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Julia Clement

Month: December 2025

Endoscopes

Endoscopes

With so many jokes on endoscopes relying on innuendo, I prefer to sit them out.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on December 11, 2025December 7, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Endoscope, Innuendo, NZComedy

Trickle Down

Trickle Down

I refuse to surrender my country to people who think climate change is fake and trickle down is real.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on December 10, 2025December 7, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Coalition, Comedy, NZComedy, NZPol, Trickle Down

Woke or Sleeping?

Woke or Sleeping?

The opposite of “Woke” is “Sleeping”.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on December 9, 2025December 7, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, NZComedy, Woke

Xero?

Xero?

Why would I buy accounting software from someone who can’t even spell Zero?

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on December 8, 2025December 6, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags Accounting, AucklandComedy, Comedy, NZComedy, Software, ZeroAndOne

Winston

Winston

NZ politics is a case of Winston, Looseton.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on December 7, 2025December 6, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, NZComedy, NZPol, Winston

Water Tax

Water Tax

Was the Labour/Green proposed tax on water aimed at homeopaths?

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on December 6, 2025December 6, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Homeopathetic, NZComedy, Tax, Water

Sibling Rivalry

Sibling Rivalry

Sibling Rivalry: My Roomba just choked itself trying to eat the big vacuum cleaner’s power cord.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on December 5, 2025December 1, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, NZComedy, Roomba, Vacuum Cleaner

Rats

Rats

I’m unable to donate blood as when one of my medications is given in huge doses to pregnant rats it can cause birth defects.

Personally I’d rather my blood was given to humans, not rats.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on December 4, 2025December 1, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Blood, Comedy, Medication, NZComedy, Rats

LSD

LSD

LSD’s original name was LSD-25.

Dr Albert Hofmann synthesized new forms until number 25 when flying purple giraffes blocked the lab’s portcullis.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on December 3, 2025December 1, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, LSD, NZComedy

Ho Ho Ho Bar

Ho Ho Ho Bar

Santa’s favourite oil — Jojojoba.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on December 2, 2025December 1, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, NZComedy, Santa

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