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Julia Clement

Comedian, Playwright, Director, Producer

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Julia Clement

Category: Joke-a-day

Experimental Joke-a-day

Side Splitting

Side Splitting

Comedy’s all fun and games until someone splits their sides.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on June 25, 2026June 24, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, NZComedy, Side SplittingLeave a comment on Side Splitting

Scalpers

Scalpers

Totally pissed off at the scalpers.

My show’s been on sale for 4 days and they still haven’t bought all the tickets.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on June 24, 2026June 22, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, NZComedy, Scalpers, Show, TicketsLeave a comment on Scalpers

Penis Jokes?

Penis Jokes?

I’d tell penis jokes, but there’s a shortage.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on June 23, 2026June 22, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, NZComedy, Penis JokesLeave a comment on Penis Jokes?

Blue Whales

Blue Whales

Question on a quiz show: The main food of Blue Whales is?

  • Krill,
  • Anchovies,
  • Sardines?

Obviously Krill, how’s a whale going to open a can?

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on June 22, 2026June 20, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Blue Whales, Comedy, Food, NZComedyLeave a comment on Blue Whales

Winter Solstice

Winter Solstice

The Winter solstice is at 8:24PM 21/6/26.

After this the days will get longer.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on June 21, 2026June 20, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags Solstice, WinterLeave a comment on Winter Solstice

Too Close?

Too Close?

Time to get tough on people who stand too close to themselves.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on June 20, 2026June 18, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Masking, NZComedy, Social DistancingLeave a comment on Too Close?

Cats

Cats

Are my wife’s pets my step cats or my cats-in-law?

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on June 19, 2026June 19, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Cats, Comedy, NZComedy, Wife's catsLeave a comment on Cats

Epilator

Epilator

The epilator took 15 years to develop.

One to make it work & fourteen to make it hurt more.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on June 18, 2026June 15, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Epilator, NZComedy, PainLeave a comment on Epilator

Social Media

Social Media

You can’t call a person truly alone who has social media and 5G coverage.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on June 17, 2026June 15, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags 5G, AucklandComedy, Comedy, NZComedy, Social MediaLeave a comment on Social Media

Moon Landing

Moon Landing

Cinematography in 1902 was nowhere near advanced enough to fake a moon landing so we have to accept Georges Méliès’ <> as a record of the first successful French moon shot.

It’s a shame that they lost their moon base to the NAZIs in 1940 & never got it back.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on June 16, 2026June 15, 2026Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, France, Moon Landing, NZComedyLeave a comment on Moon Landing

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Recent Posts

  • Side Splitting
  • Scalpers
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  • Blue Whales
  • Winter Solstice

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