I stopped ride sharing when my car broke down underground.
My mechanic said it was the worst case of carpool tunnel syndrome he’d ever seen.
Tag: AucklandComedy
Dogs
I just found out a Cockapoo is a type of dog.
That’s worse than taking the piss.
Loyalty
I’ve started a loyalty scheme for my fans …
Every 10th joke is free!
Distance
London to Sofia 2,013 km; Auckland to Sydney 2,223 km.
England is closer to Bulgaria than NZ to Australia yet we don’t confuse them.
Hedgehog
Hedgehogs may look cuddly but they are selfish pricks.
Time and …
Time and peristalsis wait for no-one.
Apollo
Rocket fuel is so toxic that 55 years later nothing grows at the Apollo 11 landing site!
Subtext
Super Villain File
Name: Subtext
Origin: The same alien beam missed its mark and hit Olivia’s bitter rival, Helen Hint. Now possessing the ability to speak only in riddles and hidden meanings, she became Subtext, a villain dedicated to spreading confusion!
Aims: Dedicated to spreading confusion!
Foes: Captain Obvious
Captain Obvious
Super Hero File
Name: Captain Obvious
Origin: Mild-mannered librarian Olivia Point was struck by a mysterious beam from an alien spacecraft, granting her the power to state the obvious so emphatically that it leaves her enemies dumbfounded! She took on the name Captain Obvious, battling crime with truth and simplicity.
Powers: States the obvious to confuse enemies.
Weaknesses: Is completely oblivious to sarcasm.
Foes: Subtext
Lost Keys
A woman is a woman is a woman.
I was just late to the party, needing to find myself first.
I was on the hall table with the lost keys and the mail.