Gender is what’s between the ears, not what’s between the legs …
My gender must be wax.
Tag: AucklandComedy
Physarum Polycephalum
Physarum polycephalum is a slime mold with 507 sexes.
Can you imagine what their version of Tindr must be like?
Celery
Get addicted to celery.
Gambling, sugar, sex, heroin, tobacco, meth-amphetamine addictions will kill you or ruin your life.
Celery is the answer.
Celery is a pretty harmless thing to be addicted to, just don’t mainline the bloody stuff
Airline Food
Airline food’s bad because something has to make hospital food look good.
Death’s Ghostwriter
So ironic that I’m now DEATH‘s ghostwriter.
Captain Kina
Super Hero File
Name: Captain Kina
Origin: Living a peaceful life eating seaweed when the same radiation leak that created TAXman changed their life for ever
Powers: A prickly character
Aims: To raise sea level to create ever larger fields of yummy kelp
DEATHman
Super Hero File
Name: DEATHman
Origin: In an attempt to reduce his workload, DEATH comes to Earth and battles people who ignore workplace and road safety rules.
Powers: Catchphrase: Quick Vulture, to the DEATHmobile.
Aims: Lower death rate.
Weaknesses: Contractually forbidden to resurrect clients.
Foes: Simeon Brown
Affiliates: Vulture
Tornado
Super Villain File
Name: Tornado
Origin: Originally a plant ecologist until leaves blown by Leaf Rider during her origin gave her the power to blow back with massive force.
Powers: Creates massive winds that can destroy anything in their path.
Aims: End Leaf Blower’s control of fallen leaves to allow natural composting.
Weaknesses: Can not enter storm cellars.
Foes: Leaf Rider
Leaf Rider
Super Hero File
Name: Leaf Rider
Origin: Autumn Fall was a gardener at Field Marshal Britain‘s power complex until a radioactive leak into a compost heap she was moving with a leaf blower turned her into Leaf Rider.
Powers: Can shrink to the size of a mouse & ride leaves on gentle breezes to silently creep up on villains.
Weaknesses: Strong winds blow her off course.
Foes: Tornado
Affiliates: Field Marshal Britain
Madam Sword
Super Villain File
Name: Madam Sword
Origin: Once the star sword-swallower, Nicky Sharp was twisted by jealousy when Bubble Lass stole the show. With razor-sharp fingers, she became Madam Sword, the puncture-prone villain out to burst her bubble!
Powers: Pierces anything with her fingers but prefers a sharp sword.
Aims: End bubbles and balloons.
Foes: Bubble Lass
Affiliates: Ringmaster