DEATH – Julia Clement

DEATH and Taxis

Nothing is certain in this world except death and taxis.

Q: What do dead Kiwis tour Europe in?

A: VW Zombis.

Forget to pay the exorcist & be repossessed.

So ironic that I’m now DEATH‘s ghostwriter.

Super Hero File

Name: DEATHman

Origin: In an attempt to reduce his workload, DEATH comes to Earth and battles people who ignore workplace and road safety rules.

Powers: Catchphrase: Quick Vulture, to the DEATHmobile.

Aims: Lower death rate.

Weaknesses: Contractually forbidden to resurrect clients.

Foes: Simeon Brown

Affiliates: Vulture

“Why is airline food so bad?”

“Something has to make post funeral refreshments seem good.”

Day 123,456, still not Godot.

DEATH steps in.

I’m over donating to cancer.

The cynical bastard takes our money and keeps killing people.

Julia says “At an open mic, some comedians will kill and others will die.”

DEATH replies “All good. Either way suits me.”

Does the bar serve diet blood or just that crappy blood zero?

Asking for a friend.