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Julia Clement

Comedian, Playwright, Director, Producer

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Julia Clement

Tag: DEATH

Touring

Touring

Q: What do dead Kiwis tour Europe in?

A: VW Zombis.

(The mythological character formerly known as DEATH)

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on January 26, 2026January 24, 2026Categories DEATH, Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, DEATH, Kiwis, NZComedy, Touring, ZombiesLeave a comment on Touring

Airline Food

Airline Food

“Why is airline food so bad?”

“Something has to make post funeral refreshments seem good.”

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on January 24, 2026January 23, 2026Categories DEATH, Joke-a-dayTags Airline, AucklandComedy, Comedy, DEATH, Food, NZComedyLeave a comment on Airline Food

Crossroads

Crossroads

Day 12,345, still no Godot.

DEATH steps in.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on January 21, 2026January 13, 2026Categories DEATH, Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Crossroads, DEATH, NZComedy, WaitingLeave a comment on Crossroads

Open Mics

Open Mics

Julia: At an open mic, some comedians will kill and others will die.

DEATH: All good. Either way suits me.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on January 14, 2026January 13, 2026Categories DEATH, Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedian, Comedy, DEATH, NZComedy, Open Mics

Diet Blood

Diet Blood

“Does the bar serve diet blood or just that crappy blood zero? Asking for a friend.” The mythological creature formerly known as DEATH

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on January 13, 2026January 13, 2026Categories DEATH, Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Blood, Comedy, DEATH, Diet, NZComedy

Et In Arcadia Ego

Et In Arcadia Ego

DEATH: Et in Arcadia Ego. (“Even in Arcadia, there am I”, Mission Bay not Arcadia, but who’s counting?)

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on January 12, 2026January 6, 2026Categories DEATH, Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, DEATH, NZComedy

My Stars Will Align

My Stars Will Align

Julia: One day the stars will align.

DEATH: Yes! On 6 May 2492. It’s the 1,000th anniversary of Columbus’ first trip.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on January 11, 2026January 6, 2026Categories DEATH, Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, DEATH, NZComedy

Salads

Salads

DEATH: Add extra colour to your salads with these pretty red mushrooms.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on January 10, 2026January 4, 2026Categories DEATH, Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, DEATH, Food, NZComedy, Salad

Virgins

Virgins

Stop sending me virgins …

Do I look like a chaperone?

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on January 9, 2026January 4, 2026Categories DEATH, Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, DEATH, NZComedy

Queue Jumping

Queue Jumping

Julia: I think I am dying.

DEATH, The Grin Reaper: I’m awfully busy, wait your turn Julia.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on January 6, 2026January 2, 2026Categories DEATH, Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, DEATH, NZComedy, Sick

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Events

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Events

  • January 30, 2026
  • Mt Albert War Memorial Park New Comedy
    • January 30, 2026
    • Mount Albert
  • February 6, 2026
  • Potters Park, Mount Eden
    • February 6, 2026
    • Mt Eden
  • February 13, 2026
  • Pt Chev, Comedy in Coyle Park
    • February 13, 2026
    • Point Chevalier
  • February 17, 2026
  • Comedy, Library Square, New Lynn
    • February 17, 2026
    • New Lynn
  • February 20, 2026
  • Auckland Domain Bandstand New Comedy
    • February 20, 2026
    • Parnell

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