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Julia Clement

Comedian, Playwright, Director, Producer

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Julia Clement

Month: August 2025

Underwear

Underwear

A shart is just nature’s way of reminding you to change your underwear.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on August 21, 2025August 18, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, NZComedy, Shart, Underwear

Beauty Parlour

Beauty Parlour

I think I’ll start a beauty parlor promoted as “By bad spellers for poor readers.”

I’ll call it Heredressers.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on August 20, 2025August 17, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Beauty Parlour, Comedy, NZComedy

Google-foo?

Google-foo?

I think my Google-foo is failing.

I typed in my symptoms & it said I have cannelloni.

Not even close, my pastaia swears I had fettuccine.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on August 19, 2025August 17, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags Cannelloni, Comedy, Fettuccine, Google, NZComedy

Data Mining

Data Mining

After decades of slaving in the data mines I’ve caught hexadecaphobia.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on August 18, 2025August 17, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, DataMines, Hexadecaphobia, NZComedy

Bugs

Bugs

All the bugs in programs I write are lovingly hand crafted.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on August 17, 2025August 14, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Bugs, Comedy, NZComedy, Programmer, Programs

New Diet

New Diet

My new diet is so strict I’m only allowed micronutrients.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on August 16, 2025August 14, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Diet, Micronutrients, NZComedy

Vapes

Vapes

Are the people who vape vapers or vapists?

Either way don’t ever call them vapid!

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on August 15, 2025August 14, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, NZComedy, Vapes1 Comment on Vapes

Taken Seriously

Taken Seriously

Being taken seriously as a comedian only sounds like an oxymoron.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on August 14, 2025August 14, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedian, Comedy, NZComedy

You can’t avoid

You can’t avoid

Two things you can’t avoid, death and taxis.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on August 13, 2025August 10, 2025Categories DEATH, Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, DEATH, DeathAndTaxis, NZComedy, Taxis

FB Ban

FB Ban

For those cynics who don’t believe FB is taking strong action against white supremacist propaganda, they now ban boosting posts with the word “Facebook” in them.

Julia head and uper body with one hand covering the mic.Author A Joke A DayPosted on August 12, 2025August 10, 2025Categories Joke-a-dayTags AucklandComedy, Comedy, Facebook, FacebookBan, NZComedy, Propaganda

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Events

  • December 9, 2025
  • Comedy, Library Square, New Lynn
    • December 9, 2025
    • New Lynn
  • December 12, 2025
  • Auckland Domain Bandstand New Comedy
    • December 12, 2025
    • Parnell
  • December 16, 2025
  • Jellicoe Park, Onehunga
    • December 16, 2025
    • Onehunga
  • December 19, 2025
  • Selwyn Domain, Mission Bay
    • December 19, 2025
    • Mission Bay
  • December 23, 2025
  • Henderson Comedy Open Mic
    • December 23, 2025
    • Henderson

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