October 2025 – Page 3 – Julia Clement

Caesar

Caesar said “Veni, vidi, feci sem” (I came, I saw, I made salad)

Why do pilot’s uniforms still look like military officer uniforms from the 1940s?

I’ve just realised.

Butter really doesn’t melt in vegans’ mouths.

I’m considering making a follow-up to “Supersize Me” where I eat KFC every day.

It’s called “Lick my fingers”

I have a cup of tea every year, but I am trying to cut back.

The funniest thing about my DEATH character is that it’s doing live comedy.

The wheels fell off for the NZ Equestrian team at the last Olympics.

Team managers say “Next time we’ll try hooves.”

Comedians who die on stage at the Riyadh Comedy Festival are dismembered and discretely disposed of around the kingdom.

“A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.” — Mark Twain.

Except he didn’t say it! A meta-lie.

I keep coming back as a flower.

It’s a bad case of reincarnation.